Anchor for my Soul

Hi everyone,

The last month has been such a whirlwind of circumstances and emotions, and we would like to thank those of you who have contacted us to offer words of encouragement or have simply remembered us in your time with Dad.  We have said goodbye to literally everything and everyone we know.  I'm not sure than any number of months of preparation or pr can prepare you for that experience.  Our last Sunday at PA, our fellowship in San Angelo, was so bittersweet.  How special it was to be with our brothers and sisters who helped prepare us and encourage us in this journey; however, saying that many goodbyes in one day is something we never want to do again! 

Arriving in our new home and adjusting to life here has felt like a roller coaster at times.  At first, I (A) woke up homesick every single morning as the reality of being so far from family would hit me like a ton of bricks.  C struggled each day with a dark feeling of oppression.  Realizing that almost every face we see is the face of a lost soul as well as feeling pressure to care for me in a completely foreign context weighed on him more than ever.  There was never doubt in our minds that we are in the middle of His will; however, we were struggling to be joyful and at home here.  Although I never truly considered coming home, there certainly were moments when all I wanted was to be at home with familiar faces and comfortable surroundings.

Each day became easier and easier.  Small milestones encouraged us to keep pushing forward: our first scooter ride, first time buying groceries at the market, first time to order a meal for ourselves.  Things which were simple, everyday tasks in the States became things to celebrate when we accomplished them without making a spectacle of ourselves.

Approximately a week after arriving, we found an apartment.  For the past 7 months, we have been SO blessed to be invited into two different homes and cared for as family; however, we were so excited to find a place that we could make into our very own home.  As a woman, I think there is just something so sweet about setting up your home.  Preparing a place where we will welcome people into our lives and hopefully His Life was incredibly therapeutic for me.  C was also very sweet and patient with me as I chose to paint every room. We are choosing furniture this week and will hopefully be living on our own soon!!

On March 23, we began language school.  It has been exciting, overwhelming, and interesting trying to learn one of the hardest languages in the world.  Our "classroom" is a beautiful rooftop terrace that overlooks mountains and tea terraces.  Occasionally it rains so much during class that we have to move into the teacher's office.  As people who are used to tumbleweeds and dust, we have savored every minute of the beautiful weather and scenery!

Even in these triumphs and joys, there was something heavy lingering in our hearts.  Last Sunday, going into our time of fellowship, C & I were so hungry and desperate for Father.  Throughout singing time, I journaled with tears in my eyes as I was longing for His words and His presence.  Next to me, I could hear C singing with a strained voice.  For teaching time, we turned on a podcast from a teacher who I would occasionally listen to in the States and really like.  His lesson was over Gen 15 where Father made His covenant with Abram: to give him descendents as many as the stars as well as the land of Canaan.  Abram's response to this was, "O L0rd G0d, how am I to know that I will possess it?"  Abram did not say this in lack of f@ith, as verse 6 talks about how his belief was credited to him as r!ghteousness; however, I do believe that he needed his f@ith to be affirmed.  It appears that he needed reassurance that Father would follow through on His promises.  Oh, how perfectly I could relate!!!  That was exactly how I was feeling: knowing He is good and f@ithful yet needing an extra measure of gr@ce.

Although I had read the part of the passage which describes the covenant, I had never studied or fully understood the meaning of the sacrifice.  The teacher explained that establishing a covenant during this time meant acting out what was to happen if the promise was broken (in this case, the body of the carcass being broken and diminished).  Each party would pass through to represent their end of the bargain.  The teacher explained that the smoking fire pot and flaming torch which passed between the pieces signified the presence of G0d and that in Gen 15, He passes through alone.   Father promised to keep His end of the covenant otherwise His name would be diminished; He would no longer be the Promise-Keeper. 

In addition to this, the teacher pointed out that the more important question seemed to be, "How will I keep my end of the bargain?"  This was another thought that I could relate with as I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is good, yet I am always doubting whether or not I can actually be f@ithful & 0bedient.  So often my attitude is, "I will let me down.  I will let you down."  But isn't that the point?  The Presence passed through alone; therefore, upholding His part and Abram's part of the covenant.  In the same way that a broken covenant would require the breaking and diminishing of the guilty party, my breaking of the covenant required @tonement.  Father held up my end of the bargain for me, and in this I can rest! This is the Good News.


In this passage, Father does not promise Abram that everything will be simple; in fact, He promises that Abram's offspring will be sojourners and servants, afflicted for four hundred years.  Even so, the covenant stands.  I was so encouraged after listening to this teaching.  Although darkness and struggling had been looming, C & I rejoiced in knowing that Father already paid our price for breaking the covenant.  Now we can live as free, forgiven people, promised Life in Him.  This makes all struggles worth bearing.  This week, we are thankful that His promises stand.  We are secure in Him.  This is our anchor.  This is what keeps us grounded despite the waters which toss us to and fro (especially in a crazy place like SEA!).

Rejoicing in Him,

C&A

Hither by Thy Help I've Come...

Hey everybody!

I (Alex) am currently sitting on the bed in the room of the house that Father gave us 6 months ago.  I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness and the fact that He is the giver of very good gifts.  The last 2 years have been such a journey for Cam & I.  Abundant grace has allowed us to see Father's direction, hear His voice clearly, and be obedient to follow His lead. 

Throughout the process of preparing to answer His call to our new home, I have kept a journal of the many ways He has proved to be faithful.  I know that it will be important to meditate on His goodness in the past so that I can rest and trust Him with my future.  However, I don't want to keep Father's faithfulness and incredible works to myself during this time.  Isn't the whole point of faith to experience Him personally and then share that with others?

I want to share with our friends and family all of the sweet stories He gives us that together we might ALL worship and trust Him more.  Father put on my heart several months ago the idea of an Ebenezer.  It is the name of the stone Samuel set up as a reminder of the victory and deliverance Father gave to the Israelites in 1 Samuel 7.  The word Ebenezer is derived from Hebrew words which mean "stone of help"; therefore, an Ebenezer is something which reminds us that we have a faithful Helper.  In a sense, I want this blog to be for everyone what my journal has been to me, a reminder that we have only made it this far by His grace, and we can trust Him with our future. 

Father has had so many opportunities over the last couple years to show off His faithfulness, and I know that moving will only increase the struggle, therefore, allowing us to experience His power more and more.  One of the greatest struggles for us throughout this process was moving out of our apartment long before we planned to.  Our lease was up in August 2014, and we intended to sign another 6 month lease so that we could stay in our apartment until a couple of weeks before moving; however, we found out that the complex was raising our rent beyond our means.  We could afford to stay, but it would take every last penny we had.  Although I knew leaving the apartment and storing/selling our belongings was going to happen, I was not prepared for it to happen so soon.  Together, Cam & I struggled with which decision was the right one.  Should we renew our lease or put in 30 days notice even though we didn't have a clue where to find a cheaper place?

After many days of pr@yer, we knew that Father was leading us to put in our 30 days notice.  I cried many tears throughout the process of making the decision and I DID NOT want to move, but Father made it very clear that this was what we were supposed to do.  Once we let the apartment complex know we would be moving, we began calling everyone we knew to ask about M housing or just something in town that might be more affordable.  The more phone calls we made, the more discouraged we became as we reached one dead end after another.  I think I cried multiple times a day because I had not been emotionally prepared to leave our first home together.  Plus, I was afraid I would be leaving it for and RV parked in an alley (seriously.....it really was an option we were considering). 

I knew that even if Father called us to live in an alley RV, He would sustain us, teach us, and grow us; however, I have to admit that I wasn't necessarily happy about it.  Cameron kept telling me, "God gives good gifts, you just need to trust him."  Boy oh boy, was he right!  One day, I was having lunch with Cameron at work when a pastor from PaulAnn sat down to eat with us.  He asked what our needs were during this process, and we shared our need for housing with him.  About 2 days later, he invited us to live with him and his wife for the remainder of our time in SA!  We were unsure about it at first.  Cameron had never met his wife, and I hardly knew either of them, but we could not deny that it was Father's provision.  In September, we moved into their home; little did we know, we were inheriting a new set of parents.  Words cannot express how quickly we grew to love our new home and our sweet roomies.  Despite the fact that we hardly knew each other when we moved in, our personalities meshed perfectly, and we LOVED spending time together. 

I continue to be amazed at the INCREDIBLE gift we were given through our house parents and our new home.  Not only were we able to save money to put towards fundraising travels and enjoying the States, we had the opportunity to watch Godly people love each other, their kids, and their church family.  What an example and encouragement they have been to us! 

Now that we are 6 days away from leaving, I'm setting up an Ebenezer in my heart.   Thus far He has helped us....I know without a doubt that He will continue to do so.

Come, thou Fount of every blessing, 
tune my heart to sing thy grace; 
streams of mercy, never ceasing, 
call for songs of loudest praise. 
Teach me some melodious sonnet, 
sung by flaming tongues above. 
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, 
mount of thy redeeming love. 

Here I raise mine Ebenezer; 
hither by thy help I'm come; 
and I hope, by thy good pleasure, 
safely to arrive at home. 
Jesus sought me when a stranger, 
wandering from the fold of God; 
he, to rescue me from danger, 
interposed his precious blood. 

O to grace how great a debtor 
daily I'm constrained to be! 
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, 
bind my wandering heart to thee. 
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
prone to leave the God I love; 
here's my heart, O take and seal it, 
seal it for thy courts above.